Desperation

Lately, more and more friends are asking me if I am desperate nowadays. One or two I would think they are mad but the ratio seems to be increasing, to a disturbing level actually. I wonder what have I done to perpetrate this impression. In fact, on the contrary I think at no other stage of my life have I been more 'bo chap' than now in this respect. Of course no doubt my radar is more attuned than before and I think I test my perfect eyesight more and more nowadays. No question, but beyond the simple glance the furthest I ever venture is a stare. Okay, maybe my stare may not be exactly the most subtle thing in the world but anyway.......

Back to the point, I think over the past 3 years I have not exactly done anything of note in this aspect. In fact, my cousin accused of being too 'nuah' to even chase skirts. I don't exactly concur but I have yet to raise a credible defense. I was asking a dear friend of mine why I had little progress in this aspect. Her reply was simply this: Can't be bothered - then cant help u. but sometimes, it's abt meeting someone u're interested in then can be bothered right? so i don't blame u if u're not finding anyone interested in to be bothered with at all!

Perhaps, that is the case. Which begs the question, am I really so choosy I can't find anyone to be the least bit bothered with. As I was having lunch with a like-minded friend (an increasingly rare breed these days), we concluded that we were both still hung up on someone such that our vision is for lack of a better word, impaired. For example, if you set your sights on owning a Honda Integra Type R, you would not be bothered with a Toyota Celica even though they are in the same class. Or even a CRV even though they are both Hondas as they suit a different market altogether. Either you get the Integra Type R or it takes perhaps a Porsche 911 for you to accept a different car altogether. Something like that, kinda lousy analogy, anyway most girls I know will be offended to be compared to a car so.........


The above will probably be my idea of a 911, haha. Anyway my friends think I am a total geek because I tell them that videogames have a higher babe count than reality.

Again I digress. After all that is said and done, for the past three years I think I have been wallowing in a pool of self-deception. A chance encounter today just awoke me. I didn't have the courage to finish what I started which is why I am still circling around the same questions, virtually the same scenario each day for the past three years.

Watch this space as I plan my next course of action. Wish me luck

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