A Dream Job

As i was watching TV mobile today, I saw my dream job. Being a judge on Jue2 Dui4 Superstar. Usually people have to pay to be that entertained, let alone being paid.

As they showed some of the auditions, its really hilarious! Judge to contestant: "You go makeover still look like this ah!" She only stopped short of saying the contestant should ask for a refund. Another judge commented on the image of a contestant (to be fair he did look like Kurt Cobain except for the hair color) but its a pity I didn't hear what she said clearly. TV mobile, what do you expect?

Think of it this way, you get to make people do silly stuff and they don't get to talk back, you run down people with complete disregard for their self-respect and no one needs to know whether you are any better. On top of that you get paid. Its like being a teacher, except you can't cane the contestants no matter how rude they are.

Who can forget Simon from American Idol, the role model for all these people? "You can't sing you can't dance, what do you have to say for yourself?". "Last year I called someone the worst singer in America, you may quite possibly be the worst singer in the world based on that performance.". What a caustic vicious individual and he is like super highly paid. Oh course, he puts up with a bit worse, getting splashed with water, being told "You can kiss my black a@#!" and stuff like that. In spite of that, I don't think he would trade it for any other job in the world.

Oh, you also get propositioned by contestants. Or so tabloids in America would have you believe. Scandalous yes, but unless its perpetually Ruben Studdard types, its not really an occupational hazard to most people.

One may argue its really painful to go through some of these auditions. Yes it is, but you don't need to hide it. Its not as if you are listening to your colleague's corny jokes and you have to pretend its Seinfeld quality stuff in order not to offend him. Or worse, there are some guys who will repeat their joke if you don't laugh cause they think you don't understand it, thats why you are not laughing. That is more painful than listening to someone butcher "Lemon Tree" or something when you can cut him or her off and proceed to methodically disect his or her performance.

Unless of course some judges actually get injured by a disgruntled contestant, we may well see more and more people aspiring to do that. Even if I am planning a career switch, I have to take a number, maybe larger than the number of cows in New Zealand.

Slacker
slackandrelack@gmail.com