Musings about my muse

Though we know not what the future may hold,
Laughter, tears, joy, distress and tales to be told,
I will rejoice in my blessings that our paths has crossed,
If this is all we will ever be, all progress will be paused,
Still I will rejoice in these memories that are such a gift,
When I recall them, my spirits surely will lift,
Call it fate, destiny, divine appointment, providence,
For those in doubt surely there is much evidence,
Of the Divine's work in bringing 'bout our route's congruence,
If joy's a currency, this is the source of my affluence.

I wish you well, trust me one day I really will,
If farewells are in order, my heart will be still.
Sharing your joy some how will be contagious,
I say in faith not in fact lest I sound fallacious.
Surrender I am learning though now I lack,
His sufficiency and grace will still bring me back,
Though the fig tree or the vines blossoms not,
In my God I trust; whose face I've sought,
He will bring me through whatever He ordain,
In Him my toil and tears will not be in vain.

Broad definitions

Some words in the English language can be use to define a full range of activities or entities that differ significantly in scope and application. It is interesting how the same word has so many usage that leaves the reader baffled when it comes up. Sounds like I am babbling? Please read on:

1) Work

Now this is an all-encompassing term, used in our modern day to entail all activities you engage in that ultimately contributes to your paycheck. Depending on your actual job scope, the phrase "I am working now" can cover the following activities:

i) Slogging in front of the PC frantically doing endless reports or replying a never-ending stream of questions
ii) Playing golf
iii) Drinking coffee and talking about golf
iv) Eating lunch or dinner and talking about golf
v) Having a beer and talking about golf
vi) Soaking in the hot pool and talking about golf
vii) Calling a client while shopping for golf accessories
viii) Going to a client's office to talk about golf
ix) Taking golf lessons
x) Seated in front of your PC and thinking about golf


2) Busy
Usually used in conjunction with the phrase "Don't disturb me now, I am......"
Its coverage is even greater than 1) as it encompasses but is not limited to the usage above. Other common use in additional to 1) includes
i) Gossiping with colleagues
ii) Bearing the brunt of your boss' nonsense, frequently after he is a recipient of the same from his boss
iii) Watching TV/movies/the spider crawling on the ceiling
iv) Admiring (read:oogling at) girls/cars
v) Shopping although this is the exclusive right of the fairer sex
vi) Accompanying/talking to Gxxxx (okay, only one person uses this definition)
vii) Manicure/pedicure/skin-kena-cure(d)
viii) blogging (hahahahaha)
ix) shading 4-D tickets

3) Urgent
As this term can by no means be treated exhaustively in my non-Encyclopedia Britannia rivaling entry, usage here refers to circumstances that pertain to your female friends's usage in activities that require your immediate attention. In case you missed that out, its IMMEDIATE attention
i) Anything to do with them
ii) nothing else

4) For your own good
This phrase has been used by everyone from your mother to your colleague who refused to give you a hand. I have learnt in twenty something years in life that it could refer to one of the following:
i) eating horrendous vegetables that taste like grass that has just been organically fertilized
ii) complaining to your boss that you ignored their trivial enquiry
iii) forcing you to walk under the hot sun at a time when you are supposed to be in bed
iv) humiliation

5) Friends
Ah, what a wonderful word that encompasses such a broad range! That wonderful catch-all word that seems to explain a relationship completely, look what it encompasses:
i) People whom you encounter in your job whom you can approach for assistance either directly or indirectly
ii) People who are mysteriously in your contact list but you have not the foggiest idea whom they are
iii) Colleagues who call you that when they need a favor from you
iv) People whom you share every minute detail of your banal existence with
v) That person who occupies your every pleasant thought every waking moment for the past years

Things I will never understand

Not one associated with humility, it is rare that I will concede defeat unequivocally. Very rare indeed. Yet, this post is about the phenomenons that I must unconditionally accept my complete ignorance of and total inability to fathom. Here it goes in no particular order of merit


1) Why woman view their involvement in their friends' weddings as integral and indispensable? Does it matter they have ABSOLUTELY nothing to wear? Define nothing to wear, you mean they have been running around stark naked daily? Does it matter whether they look fat? I mean if its their wedding well and fine but they are part of the guests list, along with a few hundred other people, all eyes are going to be on the bride and groom, no? Case in point, when my best friend had his ROM a few months back, I went swimming in the morning and the only preparation I made was to iron an EXISTING shirt. Of course, I am a bit of an extreme case since I still managed to be late on this extremely sacred day, :p

2) Why are woman always right?
When they criticise you, they are being truthful, when you criticise them, you are being mean.

When they tell you what to do, they are showing concern, when you tell then what to do, you are overbearing.

When they are ignore you, they are busy (saving the world), when you ignore them, you are throwing a tantrum.

When they refuse to help you, they are teaching you independence, when you refuse to help them, you are a selfish pig.

When they don't pay attention to you, they have other weightier issues on their minds, when you don't pay attention to you, you are an insensitive pig.

When they are late, they are tied up with other commitments, when you are late, you are a thoughtless pig.

When they criticise your friends, they are helping you to steer away from bad company, when you criticise their friends, you are a judgemental pig.

When they dismiss your suggestions, your suggestions sucks, when you dismiss their suggestions, you are critical pig.

When they interrupt your conversation midway, there is some grandiose scheme behind it which basically is for your own good, when you interrupt their conversation midway, oh God have mercy on you, you pig.

When they band together against you, they are exercising gender loyalty, when you band together with other suffering men against them, all men are pigs.

Which brings me to the third mystery.....

3) Why are all men labeled as pigs?
'nuff said

4) Why do women have boundless reserves of energy for shopping?
The same feet that are killing them miraculously transform into well-oiled machines of extra-ordinary power and durability when the life giving four letters "S-A-L-E" bound together to form that word of inexplicable power. Eternity is not long enough for them and enough cumulative distance to challenge a marathon runner are but mere details. In heels no less.

5) Why are women's problems always a life threatening crisis and men's problems insignificant?
If you need me to explain this, you probably don't know any women other than your mother.

6) Why am I writing this when I know it will invariably increase the possibility of me dying alone?
One word: time
Too much of it

The summer of sequels

This seems to be the summer of sequels, Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Carribean 3, Shrek 3, Fantastic Four 2, Die Hard 4.0 ( which I thought was dead and buried hard already), Harry Potter et al. Why so many sequels? Is it because these franchises are already tried and tested? Is it because we fear to tread unfamiliar grounds? Is it because men inevitably retraces his steps?

Is DC going for a sequel again? Surely a LOTR scale trilogy would have sufficed? I mean, hasn't the tale run its entire course? Has not all possibilities been exhausted? What other direction may a sequel take? What can be said that has not already been said before? What can be done that has not been done before? Is there not already a closure to this?

As I pondered what is the difference between persistence and insanity? The answer is simply this: the end result. To quote Thomas Edison, he discovered 999 ways NOT to make a light bulb, but what if in the end he didn't wind up inventing the light bulb and was doomed to failure all his life, at least in this respect? You would think him mad would you not?

If long drawn toil results in a resounding success, surely it would be a source of inspiration to others? What if ultimately success remains elusive? Nothing to talk about right? No matter how impressive one's persistence and efforts are, if there is no end result, it is more than an exercise in futility, its plain lunacy. And the depths of lunacy are directly proportional to the efforts, is it not?

Which begs the questions, should the fourth instalment ever be written in this tale that would dwarf "War and Peace" in scale and depth?

Dear friends, please cast your votes...........

Then again, what nonsense, not as if my readership is akin to Mr Brown or Xiaxue, don't think I can garner a sample size of any significance.

Narcissism

Yesterday, I wrote about the fascinating phenomenon that I would like to summarize as DCM, a post that upon self-reflection seems to exude a bit of narcissism on my part. Well, considering self-reflection and observing self's reflection are part of my daily routine, I do consider this description not altogether inappropriate. (Notice how many times the words I, my and self had appeared to this short paragraph)


Anyway, in order to expound on this topic more accurately, the tireless and relentless pursuit of the truth drove DC to type http://www.dictionary.com/ and upon seeing the blank column type "narcissism" frantically and depress the 'search' icon with a swift combination of wrist and finger on the mouse. (Were you expecting a search of the magnitude and scope in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"? This is classic DC, dramatizing the drab drudgery) Here was what turned up:


nar·cis·sism [nahr-suh-siz-em]

–noun
1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.


Not sure about you but point 2. kind of freaks me out. I mean what abomination of nature would get turned on looking at himself/herself? "Erotic gratification" from him/her self? That is the stuff that belong solely on the National Enquirer between the headlines "UFOs landed in Houston" and "Elvis lives!". Weird. Then again, I have the misfortune of meeting one person who comes precariously close to that definition. Here are some gems of wisdom from that National Enquirer Interviewee:

DC: When did you start taking an interest in her?
NEI: When she started probing about my wealth.
DC: When DID she probe about your wealth, what wealth, Donald Trump?


NEI: Tell you something very interesting, did you know that my left armpit is more smelly than my right armpit?
DC: If I knew that without you telling me, I think I am a perfect waste of oxygen and fresh water.


NEI: I know I make you feel inferior but I can't help it.


I could actually go on and on about his turds of waste-dom, but keeping in line with the theme of this post, its not about other people, its about DC. So let me continue....... Then again, I ran out of things to say about myself, so I am not a narcissist! So there!

The repression of the inner man

Before I embark on what this post entails, let me state what this post is not about. For those whose minds are a permanent resident of the gutters, there is no deep dark fantasy in question, nor are there any lolita like musings. Neither is there a scarcely uncontrolled rage boiling beneath me. How then, should I tell this story now that all these pointless fillers are out of the way?

Let me try the methodology of chronos. The inspiration behind this post all started with an innocent phone call on Monday. My friend called me while he was overseas and suddenly requested for a favour. Judging from the somber tone and ill-concealed anxiety of his voice, I steadied myself for the gravity of the task I would be called upon. As the words rolled off his tongue, I readied my pen and paper in case my memory would fail to recreate faithfully the entirety of his request: Bro, can you help me........ um...... (as his voice trailing off, a myriad of possibilities surfaced in the effervescent imagination of DC) send flowers to someone?"

Huh? Chey! As far as anti-climatic occurences go, this would have be the Bentley of them, majestic and unquestionably the elite of them all. Well, the story is not about the errand that I ran for him, although that in itself would be quite a tale. (well its not really the kind of news that CNN and BBC would be falling over themselves to scoop but considering the banality of my life lately, this is about the most exciting tale I have to share) Rather, the tale illuminated a truth that had been buried in the dark recesses of my mind (which has been rather empty of late): suddenly it struck me like a fully loaded truck with a 40 foot trailer travelling at 100 km/h ( I live in Singapore okay, 100 km/h is considered very fast) what passage of time has elasped since I last had the opportunity to unleash the full blast of the flamboyant fascinating DC magic. Well, not even the 'full blast', in fact, it has been a while since I was last given the opportunity to unveil even a fraction that would be considered above the levels of materiality.

For the uninitiated, uninspired and unimpressed (the last adjective probably relates to everyone with fully functional faculties), the 'DC-magic' is a depiction of the typical flash-and-bling modus operandi that yours truly bring to the table when it comes to declaring/exhibiting my interest in members of the opposite sex for a relationship that extends beyond the realms of platonic. In other words: kao za bor or kzb for short. To be more accurate, eight long years have elapsed since then.

Do not be mistaken, I have not embraced the monastic order since then. Nor have I been living as a hermit in total seclusion for four fifths of a decade. Rather, since my last demonstration of the width and scope of the DC-magic or DCM for short, since then my journey has largely been either 1) an immensely scaled down version of the DCM or abridged DC Magic (ADCM) for short or 2) the Cliff Notes of DC-Magic CLDCM. Lest you think my perchant for gibberish has escalated to heights that Edmund Hilary would not even touch with a pole, let me explain.

The ADCM has been birthed in the era where restrain was the buzzword. Typified by advice such as "Don't scare people off" and "Slowly, get to know her first", the ADCM was meant to be a prelude to the DCM where the protaganist would be warmed to the 'idea' prior to receiving the entire ensemble that DCM brings to the table. Sadly, thus far, intended recipient(s) were initially blissfully unaware of the intent as the 'idea' were kept at frigid level, the moment it was heated to levels approaching room temperature, the recipient quickly side-stepped the proposition. Okay, 'side-stepped' is an understatement, 'avoided like the plague' would be a bit more precise. Therein lies the travesty of nature that the repression of the inner man is. Its akin to asking Schumacher to drive two hundred miles while adhering to school-zone speed limits, retelling Lord of the Rings in two sentences, confining Sonny Rollins strictly to the score. Sheer injustice!

The CLDCM is worse in nature. Shaped by statements like "I need a man who offers me security, not little things like this" and "Its quite sweet but this is not what I need", it is more than restrain and repression, it is total repudiation of the core of DCM. Blissfully, the era in which the CLDCM is but a passing shower in the tempest of my life. Best left buried.

Oh how long? How long more before DCM may be once more unveiled in the entirety of its scope?

It's about time

I have been allowing these thoughts to fester for so long, hanging around like they were my best friends, waking up in the morning with them, going to sleep with them, eating with them. It's about time to let them go.

Another chapter has to be written, new stories to be told, new frontiers to be conquered, enough of dwelling in this place. It's time to move on.

Of all the possible emotions of the entire spectrum, the most tiring surely must be hatred and anger. Time to let go.......... To rebuild what was burnt and recover what was lost.

I'm back!

Somehow, I manage to retrieve my password for this and voila, revived! Well, wonder if its too late since no updates have been forthcoming for the past seven months, I gather whatever pitiful little readership associated with this blog has all but given up on this.

Well then, if nothing else this blog gives full vent to my largely unutilized creativity in light of the mundane infertile existence, especially during office hours. So, even if no one is reading it and my stat counter only moves when I read my own blog. Well then, I am my biggest fan, so not that it matters much actually.

Well....... as an introductory post, this is as far as it goes..... welcome back!