Yet another day

I lament the passing of each day, each sunset brings with it regret, unfulfilment and a deep sense of longing. Nope, I have not contracted some terminal illness with my days numbered. I just thought it would be a more impactful beginning rather than "sibei sian" which incidentally is what I seem to feel virtually all the time of late. My most oft coined four letter word besides 'sian' is 'sigh'.

This is another boliao bitchy post as you can plainly tell. There are some people who seems to serve no purpose on earth other than to irritate me and keep my blood pressure high. Case in point, our office bimbo. Of late, we have fallen out with each other and are no longer on talking terms. Conventional wisdom has it that I am petty and unreasonable. Well, DC has never been known to adhere to convention. Digression aside, our office bimbo has the uncanny ability to get my blood pressure to levels where Goofy (my company doctor) would exclaim in that effeminate manner of his. She used to ask me the stupiest questions which I often react with "Do you really not know the answer or are you asking me just to irritate me?". Then she will give a face and complain that I always bully her. WTF? Maybe at this juncture you would think that I am really a short tempered individual. My mercurial personality aside, if you were in my position you would be frustrated after answering the same question for the 15th thousand time, especially if the information on a booklet that we each have a copy of. It's like DC is a voice operated information dispenser.

Of course now that we are not on talking terms, for most parts, I am spared this irritation. She has chosen to ask her silly questions to our boss who somehow finds it cute or whatever to entertain such mindless queries. Yet, the way she talks is so irritating that in spite of my expressive nature, I possess no ability to do justice in description. Being no shirking violet myself (and possibly the most bitchy heterosexual man alive) I certainly spare no quarters in annoying her as well. Her attitude towards punctuality is akin to that of a barbarian towards interior decoration, i.e. purely peripheral. Each day when she finally plods in, I would make a big show of looking at the time and then at her and then start to shake my head in mock resignation. Whenever she starts to talk in that whiny tone of hers I would clear my throat as though I was some 70 year old man suffering from chronic tuberculosis (how the hell do you spell this word?).

Ok so I am bitchy but I can't begin to explain how she irritates me without going deep into the entire context and the background. To give you a little more insight into her personality, here's an example. She was talking with my colleague about our much delayed increment letter and my colleague told her "No need to worry, your boss promised to fight for you", to which she replied "It better be good". WTF? She is a sales superstar? I must have missed it out. Somehow everyone in our company managed not to capture her remarkable sales results.

I could never stop bitching about her irritating-ness but I shall graciously stop here.

How do I know I am uncool?

1) I drive an old Nissan Sunny (read: uncle car)

2) I own a copy of High Party (ah beng dance remix of popular Chinese songs)

3) I can discuss the latest TVB serials with any auntie

4) I am planning my leave to coincide with the release date of the latest Final Fantasy

5) I prefer wanton mee to spaghetti and beehoon to fettucini (i bet i must have mis-spelled it)

6) The only foreign language I would want to learn is Vietnamese

7) I love Twins

8) The last show I watched was Dragon Tiger Gate

9) My favoruite weekend attire is bermudas and sandals (really uncle sandals at that)

10) I only drink at joints where there are breaks in between songs

How do I know I am cool?

1) I have an i-Pod

2) I shaved my head

3) I buy my CDs from That CD shop

4) I listen to jazz

5) Um, I have a blog?

Pride and pretension

I think I must have gotten back my bitchy form. Blame it on the company perhaps or could be that now that I have dispelled the bitterness out of me, I am back to my cheery bitchy self. Anyway, today me and my friend were bitching about pretensious people in general.

Well, actually I started bitchy about her poseur friends who were like talking about the arts festival or something and my gut feel is that they know as much about art as I do, which is zilch. Yup, call me uncultured if you like but I have not got the slightest interest towards paintings and sculptures and the like. Personally, I would much rather go to a pub than the art museum. Anyway, I can never understand what some people pretend to see in those paintings. I mean can you really grasp what the artist was trying to express and feel his angst and anguish? Maybe you can, I certainly can't.

As for movies, I made it a point not to watch Cannes arts festival and some similar awards nominated movies. In fact, if truth be known, my favorite genre of movie are Hong Kong triad movies. You know, the testoterone driven fare with emphasis on brotherhood and loyalty while woman are little more than eye candy. Yup, I am that kind of movie goer. While I love Zhang Ziyi, I don't think I can sit through the Banquet. After spending like 20 mins watching House of Flying Daggers, I felt pure boredom. Even the sight of Zhang Ziyi failed to light up the silver screen for me, as for Memoirs of A Geisha, I couldn't even be bothered to try watching it, having read the book eons ago. Artistic? Get lost? Give me in your face action any day of the week and twice on Friday. I tend to get rather annoyed when people tell me that they would never watch a Hong Kong show at the cinema because its not worth the money. Right, like Election or SPL is in anyway inferior to say Little Man or Scary Movie. Maybe it's just the cool quotient is not that, you wouldn't want to be spotted watching Dragon Tiger Gate along with the peroxide blondies. So you rather pinch yourself to avoid falling asleep while you watch some unpronoucable French art flick.

As for music, perhaps that's the only area where I have some semblance of coolness. I happen to like jazz, not so that I appear atas like the heathen, but genuinely I love the old standards, the Great American Songbook, the Cole Porter songbook and the like. Though I haven't got the slightest idea what is fusion or acid jazz. While I am not expert in this area, at least I can say I do not pretend to like it. My friend was telling me her friend who is a self-professed jazz fan declared that there are no jazz trumpet players. I shall not dignify that statement with a comment. Nonetheless, I have an embarassing admission to make, I actually like Twins. Yup, other than possibly Jolin and Cyndi, Twins is as commercial bubblegum as you can get. Somehow, once in a while when I am in a crappy mood, their catchy singalong ditties gets me in the mood. And yup, as for popular music goes, I prefer to listen to Chinese singers. I don't think I am into any English Top 40s singers other than Corrine May and I don't even know if she is Top 40s. I know of people who think its so uncool to listen to Jay Chou and David Tao because it is such commercialized fare. Well, you would hear nary a disagreement from me if not for the fact that these people actually listen to Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake. Not commercialized, right.

F&B is another area where people really like to engage in pretensions. Let me state for the record I have no love for French/Italian/Spainish/whatever-ang-moh cuisine, I love Cantonese, Teochew, Shanghainese, Japanese, Thai and Korean cuisine in order of merit. I don't understand how people can state that their interest is fine dining. Seems to me like the local definition of fine dining is overpriced food with miniscule servings. Give me hawker fare or kopitiam faves any day. WhenI have the inclination to lighten my wallet, I would still rather eat Imperial Herbal, Noble House or Royal China over some French restaurant that I have to point and order. As for wine, forget about it. Give me whisky, brandy or cognac anyday. I think red wine taste like what I imagine petrol would taste like. Eat crackers and cheese? Please, give me chicken wings and sotong balls. Pretend to know the difference between Twinnings and Lipton Earl Grey? I rather drink my long jing tea.

Am I uncool/uncultured /low class? If you judge by adhering to the cultures that are non-native to us, then I guess I am.

Gender Equality?

Just the other day, I sms-ed my friend asking her out for dinner. Then she replied "OK, are you buying?". To which I replied candidly in the negative. She then proceeded to ignore me. So a few hours later I asked her if we were still meeting for dinner which was met with a curt "Of course not!". At that juncture I merely replied meekly "Ok". She then proceeded to call me and scold me saying that I am not a man because I refuse to buy her dinner. Of course, to her credit she eventually agreed to meet up even though I made my stand clear that it was to be on dutch. Nonetheless, I got the impression that if I had been willing to buy her dinner, she would have suggested some fancy (read: expensive) joint instead.

Now before you ladies start to brand me as a tight-fisted speciment of a non-man, hear me out. I do not have any problem with treating my friends on occasion, but where the frequency reaches a point where its virtual perpetuity, therein lies the problem. Why should a man ALWAYS pay for a woman?

On one hand, we talk about gender equality, that women should be treated on par with man, in the workplace, at home, wherever. Well, I believe talk is cheap, if you want to be treated like an equal, behave like one. In the olden days where women are expected to play a subsidiary role to men, yes, men would pay for the women's expenses simply because women during that time lack the capacity to do so. In fact, Chinese culture used to refer to women as 赔钱货 because women lacked financial independence.

This is all in the past. Women nowadays have every ability to generate income in a manner that is by no means inferior to men. In which case, the expectation that men should flash their cards when the bill comes should be tempered with. If a man is expected to provide entirely for the household as per the olden days, then the woman should be homebound and bear all the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning and other household menial tasks just like the olden days. It is frivolous to talk about gender equality if one picks and chooses the areas where equality is applicable.

Just like as children and even teenagers, we lacked the capacity to provide for ourselves and we depended on our parents for our daily needs. Hence, our parents keep a watchful eye over our activities and spending. As we mature and develop the capacity to provide for ourselves and learn judgement and wisdom, our parents gradually accord us with more freedom. We can't expect as adults that our parents continue to provide for us and yet grant us complete liberty to squander their money. Similarly, the modern and traditional view towards financial provision by men and women should be adjusted accordingly.

I think that while relationships with others should not be viewed transactionally, there is still a balance to be struck. It can't be perpetually one-sided regardless of gender. A lot of my friends brand me as stingy, but I think I am being pragmatic. Years of squandering money just to adhere to meaningless convention has taken its toll and yet little returns have been generated to that end, at least none that have lasted.

So men out there, take a stand. Respect women as equals and if they offer to pay their share, take it.

Let's show some skin!

Did I tell you I am a whiner? Did you need me to tell you I am a whiner? I thought so too. Anyway, if you are on my MSN messager you would have seen this somewhat suggestive nickname. You know, I have this quirk if you like, each time I exhibit my mercurial temperament, amongst one way I vent my frustrations is to get a haircut. Of course the reverse is not true, else I would be tantrum prone on a monthly basis and I am a man, then again I digress. Anyway, if you have seen me since last Monday night, you would know that my mood could have hardly gotten any worse. Or simply put, my hair could hardly get any shorter.

Anyways, its true I was feeling terrible for the past 2-3 weeks or so, but I declare it is over. Now it's a new beginning, no more whining or complaining, it's time to move on!