Resolve and resolution

If you know me well enough, you probably would know I am characterized by my indecisiveness and inaction/inactivity. I am what a friend would describe as a roti prata- flip here flip there. Even if I finally made up my mind, I may still end up taking a very long time to do anything, often missing the opportune moment.

2 years in sales has helped me to correct much of this deficiency. Especially when you are in consumer banking (or rather I was in consumer banking), it's a serious handicap. If you don't grab the opportunity to approach a prospect, call a lead, it may just be gone, there and then. In sales, we call it call reluctance and it is the bane of every salesperson, a limitation of sorts. In my work life, gradually I have learnt to address that and eventually overcome it.

Yet in my personal life, this still plagues me albeit to a lesser extent as opposed to previously. Minor things, I make up my mind more quickly and take the course of action quickly. Have you heard the phrase "analyze until paralyze"? Yup, in some aspects of my life this is all so true. Running through all the possible scenarios in my mind, mentally role-playing the possible repercussions. Finally, no action taken. Status quo.

Indeed, I have been sitting on something for the past 3 years. In the past I brushed it aside, ignored it, avoided it, concealed it. Self-deception is actually more difficult than most people think. Self-denial is even more so.

The past month, the issue was constantly on my mind and I think my mind finally conceded what my heart has known all along. I only pray I have the resolve to bring about a resolution.